"WHAT I WANT"

I want to be happy,
Instead of being depressed and trying to take a lil' nappy,
I want a boyfreind,
Jus someone who will be there 4 me and show they care jus a lil'
Comeone who wud never hit me,
Hopefully not cheat on me,
Jus straight up be there 4 me,
I want 2 spend time wit Crackajack,
Who I can currently no longer see,
I want a boii who won't make me cry,
Someone who will jus give me a try,
Someone who won't make me draw that to my wrist at night,
I don't ask for much,
These are simple things to look 4 in a boii,
I just want to find someone,
To lift my mind off other things,
I just want to get out of Kirkland,
Start fresh,
Build a new rep.,
Yuhh I don't care bout people talkin shit,
But there's got to be a point when you say,
Na I'm done with this shit,
I WANT THIS.

"How do you fall out of love?"

how do you fall out of love with someone,
who's already fallin out of love with you,
how do you fall out of love with someone,
when you have no one to turn to,

I look back to where it was just the two of us,
I sit here and wonder did he truly love me or did he not give a fuck,
I look back to the first day we met,
I'd try to remember if he fret,

My minds on him constantly,
what's he doin, who's he with,
has he dumped that lil' miss perfect bitch,
if so who's he bout to be with,

I continue thinkin and lookin back,
If he did love me he sure had a fucked up way of showin it,
cheatin on me den I threw the hit,
I remember him cryin on his hands and knees that I will never forget,

I love this boy with all my heart,
but now its time for us to be apart so someone please,
tell me how to fall out of love with someone,
who your convinced has already fallin out of love with you.

done i hope

how can he do this
after he said he'd wait 4 meh
he said we get back together
but now hes bak wit lil miss perfect
whos everything im not
why do i always get screwed over
now i need a man
a man who truly no's how to be one
so I can get over him
cuz everytime I think of him I wanna cry
I don't no why I always get my hopes up
den let him bring me down
now I have no one to turn to for advice
help
everything he was there for
i could talk to him about anything
cry on his shoulder
now that lately hes been gone
i dont no what to do
i jus need to find a boii to turn to


written: March 11, 2007

PEOPLE

people say I don't love him
truly I do
people say i'd used him
that I would never do
people want to kick my ass
what did I do
is it a crime for loving someone older
a crime for him being there for me
when he's out I will be there for him
I never want to lose him
that I say is true
I would never get him in trouble on purpose
that I would never do
I gave him my heart
he gave me his
we will never give back to each other
cuz together is where we belong
we put our all into us
and screw everyone who thinks its wrong

written: March 8, 2007

here we go again

after all this time
your comin back 2 me like a drop at a dime
I missed you this whole time
why see me now
whats the difference I don't understand how
at least now I can stop havin a cow
I loved you so much
jus wish I can show you how much
your the one I trust
i'd tell you anythang
cuz your my love
my best friend
at times my only friend
the only one I need
I don't need DAMN WEED
you've helped me through so much
urr the one I love to touch
who knows where I'd be without you
I'd be a lot more messed up then now
I thank you for so much
now I just want 2 be back in your arms
such your such a charm


written: Feb. 23 2007

deon

tear, tear,
drop, drop,
oh shit there goes another gun shot,
another one down,
more people with tears to drown,
thinkin why him,
why now,
people jus don't wanna disavow,
he was a good man,
a strong man,
my man,
he will always be remembered,
he would want you to think happy thoughts,
don't spend your time thinkin sad thoughts,
hez gone now,
there's not much we can do now,
but remember all he did.

written a while ago...

I WISH

why is it that i like him
but he dont like me
he's callin up sum other bitch
on his telle
i wish i knew what was wrong with me
is my life just so meessed up that no one can stand the thought of being with me
i wish i was lil' miss perfect
but im way far from perfect
i just want a man that won't lie or cheat
a man that won't hit me when he gets full of heat
someone that will treat me right
show meh 2 his spotlight
but i will never get this
cuz i dont deserve this
since i'm not lil' miss perfect!


-i had this man but i lost him and even though im tryin to late im still gonna try cuz i want him back-

"Can't take no mo"

just sitting there,
next thang i knew she was attacking meh n pullin my hair,
she tired to shove meh down the stairs,
i left a little bloody,
my hands ended up gettin a little muddy,
i love runnin through the rain in fury,
cuz then no one no's my eyes are really wet and teary,
i cried and cried,
i just felt like i was ready to die,
i'm sick of this,
al this fightin closin wit a diss,
one day i'm just gonna strike right back,
hit her in the head with some sort of pack,
i'm just on a line,
waitin for my chance 2 shine

"Drama"

fed up wit all dis bullshit
none of its even worth it
what did i do 2 deserve dis
why am i the only one bein dissed
im pissed
this is why i hate bitches
there jus caught up in drama lil' snitches
yuh i'm cryin
but what next
how bout dyin
my problems would go away
why shud i stay
nobody wants meh here anyway
i guess there's one person that wants meh 2 stay
my man
jus hope sooner or later i'll build strength
strength to let him in
in that place where all the love is kept
somewhere round my chest

DONE

FUCK SHIT,
I'M TIRED OF IT,
CAN'T TAKE IT NO MO,
DON'T WANNA B HERE NEMORE,
FEEL LIKE DYIN,
TIRED OF CRYIN,
JUS WANNA TAKE THAT BLADE TO MY WRIST,
GIVE IT A LIL' TWIST,
BLOOD BE TRICKLIN,
DRIPPIN WHILE MY ARMS TINKLIN,
JUS WANT THE PAIN TO GO AWAY,
HAVE ANOTHER RAINY DAY,
DAY TO MYSELF,
CUZ I DON'T NEED NO ONE ELSE,
I'M TIRED OF BEIN HIT,
TIRED OF MY HEART BEIN RIPPED BIT BY BIT,
I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE OF IT,
I JUS WANNA BE DONE WIT ALL DIS SHIT!

"He Changed So Much"

sittin here late at nite,
waitin to fite,
fightin will let my anger out,
yuh dats wit out a doubt,

i look down the street,
i see someone walkin up to talk to me,
why it gotta be him,
i'd rather the lites were jus a lil' more dim,


i hate him so much,
yet i always end up wit him,
its like a dream gettin along wit him,
jus fuck him,


he was nicer when we waz younger,
as we grew up he got dumber n dumber,
i don't no why i put up wit all his shit,
i jus feel like sayin screw it i'm done wit it.

"My life in icons"

"Longing for him"

why did god do this,
what did i do to deserve this,
why my boii,
he brought me joy,
just when we were startin to get along,
now we won't be re-united for what seems like lifelong,
i just want one more hug,
he's like my drug,
i need him to make it in this FUCKED up world,
i jus wanted two tell him i'm gonna wait,
cuz our love for each other is pure fate,
i love him to death,
i'll love him till' my last gasping breath!!!!

"My love for you will never die"

Just too bad i didn’t notice sooner,
That U would jus fall out of love with me like dat,
How was I so blind,
What’s going on in my mind,
As I watch the blood flow from my wrist,
As my blood flows to the floor,
I know I’ll feel the pain no more,
Or at least for a while,
Until those tears start making another pile,
See what u made me do,
I always said I’d die for u,
I’m doing this to show what I said was true,
I will never stop loving you.

"FIRST LOVE"

feel hurt,
feel used,
also confused,
why does my heart continue to be abused,
the fuse to my heart has been put out,
juss like a candle being blew out,
too many doubts,
is he one for me,
these questions are on repeat,
without him i feel incomplete,
why are my feelings so strong,
his aren't so why are mine,
wish i could go back in time to where it was only him and me,
where i was the only women in his life,
now all we ever do is fite,
all i want is for us to get along,
i hear those love songs,
i begin to cry,
at anytime he's the only man i need in my life,
without him i am blind,
i have no-one to blame but myself,
so much pain,
but then i think love is pain so whats wrong wit sufferin,
now i relized that you don't chershish somethan UNTILL its gone,
with him is where i belong,
i wish he knew how sorry i am,
and that i regret my choices,
the mistakes i've made have turned into lessons of my life,
i jus wonder what would he think if he saw this letter,
i hope it would bring him back,
once again make our love intacked!